After three-quarters of a semester and many sleepless nights, the Editorial Team has reached a unanimous decision. We hold the truth as sacred and uncompromisable, under all circumstances. It is hence with no small amount of pride that we reveal the all-seeing nature of our organization. We have hidden cameras in all common lounges, snuck listening bugs into all private rooms, and planted spies in every organization and group in the College.
To reflect our newly revised mission statement—We are watching—we will be reverting to the name: Panopt. It is our belief that Panopt accurately captures the essence of our organization where we keep watch over all members of the community, turning every individual into a self-surveilling criminal.
Remember this: Panopt is watching.
This article was part of our April 1st, 2015, satire issue. Individuals, statements and opinions in this issue are purely fictional and not representative of any real-world entities.