Clockwork 01/04/2017

The not-so-suite life: A recent survey conducted finds that 75% of friends that suite together do not remain friends by the end of the academic year. Reasons for fallouts include too much hedonism and overly-raucous surprise birthday celebrations.

Coup d’etat: The Judiciary staged a coup against the Yale-NUS Student Council on Wednesday March 29, during the council’s weekly meeting. According to the Chief-Justice, Kopi Hore, the coup was intended to boost interest in the Student Government and reduce college apathy. The Judiciary’s first act as dictators were to release a report outlining how their coup could have been improved.

Entrepreneurial Spirit: In an event organised by the Tuition Grant Scheme (TGS) Task Force, seniors who were under the TGS went for matchmaking sessions. The catch? The entrepreneurial seniors were matched with local counterparts with whom they could set up a business. At press time, most businesses consisted solely of $4000 monthly transfers of between the two employees.

Tea Socie-tea Welcome Tea: The tea socie-tea will be holding a welcome tea to introduce the thrill of being tea connoisseurs. Tea served at the session will be Lipton Black Tea with a quota of one sugar packet per student. This is due to limited funding for better brands such as TWG and Koi.

New disease discovered in Ecopond: A group of FOS students tested the ecopond water last semester as part of their ‘water’ module. Due to the lack of desire to pursue the sciences, it was only in this semester, that a new disease was finally discovered. The disease has not yet been identified, but its symbolic and metaphorical value has already been established.

Social Media Course: Reports are coming in that Yale-NUS’s course on Social Media Etiquette and Debate has been oversubscribed, receiving nearly a hundred applicants. The 2MC course to be offered Semester 1 AY 2017/18 will teach students the propers ways in which to conduct a Facebook debate. Assignments will include persuading a fellow Facebook debater that you are right and seeing who can write the longest moral argument for why skinless chicken is better than skinned.