Latest posts by The Octant (see all)
- From the Black Box to The Globe: Seven Week 7 Highlights - October 20, 2018
- Taking a Gap Year [EYW 2018] - May 20, 2018
- 4 Year’s Time: Yale-NUS seniors, then and now - February 23, 2018
Taurus: Guilt is festering away inside you: the apples, bananas, and cutlery you smuggled from the dining hall are physical reminders of your unsavoury pastime.
Gemini: You find yourself increasingly amenable to the idea of forging foreign ties— time to venture into the unfamiliar terrain of NUS!
Cancer: This month, you’ll be awakened not by a sudden divine revelation of some sort, but rather by the shrill, merciless ring of Cendana’s fire alarm.
Leo: You will read at least eight words today.
Virgo: You don’t often commit to more than you can deliver, but the stars reckon that this is a good week to finally say yes to fourteen more clubs.
Libra: Expressing yourself in a radically different way today becomes your top priority– just make sure you do it with clothes on.
Scorpio: The going gets tough when combative Mars meets headfirst with ruthless Pluto. Thankfully, the strategic Libra Moon enables us to minimize negativity by refusing to get out of bed.
Sagittarius: Your need to strengthen your social network makes you want to transcend your individuality to become your own institution. #iamyalenus
Capricorn: Your fantasies about an exciting upcoming adventure come true when you realize you’re taking Principles and Techniques of Software Development next semester.
Aquarius: This semester, expect to meet a mysterious, dark, intellectual stranger: Introduction to Black Holes.
Pisces: Put in the midnight hours and you may just earn the latin honors of your dreams – summa cum loudly.
This article originally appeared in the April Fools Edition of The Octant and is intended for satirical purposes.