April Fools Archives

Yale-NUS College Announces Opt-out Option

April 1, 2019April 1, 2019 The Octant0

You asked for it, and you got it. Yale-NUS College has announced an “opt-out” option to students. We report.

Yale-NUS Presidential Mixup

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story | Tad Cruise In the latest incident of high profile mixups, it has been revealed that Tan Tai Yong has been incorrectly announced as the new president of Yale-NUS College. Instead, Da Cheng Ren will be the next president. The Yale-NUS College governing board has assured everybody that there was absolutely no interference from […]

Coffee Cup prepared by Saga's New Barista

Saga Dining Hall Hires Barista in War of Coffee One-Ups

April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story | Svegli Davvero On Friday, March 31, hungry students of Saga College were greeted by the appearance of Nicola Costa, master barista. Mr. Costa had been flown into Yale-NUS College from Italy to serve coffee in the Saga dining hall in the latest in a series of coffee one-ups, dubbed the “Yale-NUS Coffee War.” […]

Socks and dirty dishes sit in the suite toilet. A prime example of a lack of civic responsibility.

Civic Responsibility Class Added to Common Curriculum

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story | Aunt Norris Faculty members have unanimously voted to add a new class to the Common Curriculum called Civic Responsibility, following the advice of the Common Curriculum Review Committee. This change will affect all classes joining after AY2017-2018. The preliminary list of skills to be included in the curriculum include cleaning up after one […]

Clockwork 01/04/2017

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 The Octant2

The not-so-suite life: A recent survey conducted finds that 75% of friends that suite together do not remain friends by the end of the academic year. Reasons for fallouts include too much hedonism and overly-raucous surprise birthday celebrations. Coup d’etat: The Judiciary staged a coup against the Yale-NUS Student Council on Wednesday March 29, during […]

42% of Upperclass Students Declared Mynahs

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 Justin Ong0

story | Chee Chi Chi photo | besgroup.blogspot.sg YALE-NUS COLLEGE — A study published yesterday by prominent local ornithologists reported that up to 42% of junior and senior students in Yale-NUS College can be classified as members of the species Acridotheres tristis, otherwise known as the common mynah. The two-year-long study was performed by a team […]

BREAKING: Yale-NUS Conspiracy Revealed, Students’ Safety At Risk

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 Justin Ong0

story | Twangie Wangie, Arts Editor photo | David Zhang, Yale-NUS College website, Marcus Chua and Lucy Kuo This semester has been an interesting one for Yale-NUS College. From confusing art installations to a new President, there has been no shortage of events for students to keep up with. However, in a major investigation, […]

Not So Secret

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Story by Emily Tang, Features Writer It’s an open secret that Yale-NUS has plenty of secret societies – clandestine invitation-only social groups for those deemed cool enough, rumoured to meet on rooftops under cover of darkness. But did you know about this secret society? “I felt that the idea of secret societies was too exclusive,” said […]

A Home For All

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Story by Emily Tang, Features Writer | Photo credit to David Zhang In a bid to improve the relationship between Yale-NUS and the rest of NUS, a group of students has organized a series of activities to allow their peers to better understand the day-to-day experience of NUS students. Tensions had risen earlier this year over the increasingly […]

Smells Like Team Spirit

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Story by Emily Tang, News Writer A new shirt design has been unveiled for Yale-NUS athletes. In a follow-up to last year’s identity rebranding, where the words “Yale-NUS” were replaced with “Team NUS”, a further move has been made to make the shirts more inclusive. The new design (pictured right) will no longer contain the word […]

A Day in the Life of a Yale-NUS Student

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Story by Jon Seenar, Features Writer | Photo credit to David Zhang You crack open eyes that have been crusted over with sleep, resisting the urge to make a rude gesture at the offensively bright sun and the offensively useless blinds. You turn over to your iPhone and mouth an offensively rude word at the […]

Auntie Agony

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Dear Auntie Agony, My new relationship is taking a toil on me. You see, I live in Saga but my significant other lives in Cendana. I know some people have it worse. Their significant others are literally on the opposite side of the world while we’re only separated by the muddy eco-pond and I’m not […]

Horoscopes

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Taurus: Guilt is festering away inside you: the apples, bananas, and cutlery you smuggled from the dining hall are physical reminders of your unsavoury pastime. Gemini: You find yourself increasingly amenable to the idea of forging foreign ties— time to venture into the unfamiliar terrain of NUS! Cancer: This month, you’ll be awakened […]

The Hot Factory

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

This article originally appeared in the April Fools Edition of The Octant and is intended for satirical purposes.

The Mascot: We Need It Now!

April 1, 2016April 1, 2017 The Octant0

Story by Gus Jontin, Guest Columnist We need a mascot, and we need it now. It doesn’t matter what people think. A college like ours, that established itself in the world with such flourish, certainly needs an animal, a creature, or an entity at least, to give the world an idea of who we are, […]

Year in Review: Best Decision Ever!

March 31, 2015April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story Ezekiel Berdral It’s been almost a year at Yale-NUS College and I can honestly say that moving here was one of the best decisions I ever made. I didn’t know what to expect going in, but after the school flew me to Singapore for free and students showed me around Holland Village, Sentosa Cove and […]

Overnight search raid at Yale-NUS

March 31, 2015April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story Yona Tan | May Tan Over two dozen students’ rooms at Yale-NUS College were raided on Thursday, March 27, after campus security acted on anonymous tip-offs about a chewing gum smuggling ring within Residential College 4 (RC4). A twelve-hour search by authorities, however, only revealed large amounts of unused condoms and several cats in students’ […]

Successful Successions

March 31, 2015April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story Avast Vermin All entities move and nothing remains still,” said the prominent Greek philosopher Pericles in a seminar room somewhere. With its second year coming to an end, Yale-NUS College is changing too. In various student organizations, many sophomores are now ready to step down from power. However, unexpected problems have cropped up with some […]

Floorball made me left-handed

March 31, 2015April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story Aved Chellapp The Yale-NUS College floorball team has become left-handed after the bulk purchase of left-handed floorball sticks by Athletics Director Bill Cartwright. While the purchase was initially met with disbelief by players, it seems to have been a blessing in disguise. Team captain Omar Gosh ’18 first noticed this phenomenon at the team’s weekly […]

Review: DoS Forum

March 31, 2015April 1, 2017 The Octant0

story Hadul Abmid A bare stage, a string of monologues, and many interactive segments with the audience—is this the new theatre of Yale-NUS College? Long established in the college, the DoSpians have been known for their performances, which attempt to articulate a vision for the community, but Thursday night’s piece, DoS Forum, deserves praise on its […]